Parker on Tats

Raised by wolves in the mountains of his native home Colorado, this apex predator has an ancestral linage that reaches 300,000 years ago. Although the Tats falls under the Kingdom of Animalia and Subclass of Vertebrata, Chris Tatsuno has developed an entirely new Genus of Wolf, The Canis Tatsuniamis. Highly skilled and incredibly agile this assertive man/wolf hauls ass and takes no names. Hell bent for leather he dominates his ecosystem as a fierce predator. The Canis Tatsuniamis thrives in temperate forests, deserts, mountains, tundra, taiga, grasslands and even urban areas. Growing up under the protection and guidance of wolves Tats acquired many traits. Known for their high levels of stamina and long-distance travel Tats has visited many a mountain side in his luxurious and highly modified tatsvan. The narrow chest and powerful backs and legs facilitate efficient locomotion to capture nearly any prey he sets his sights on. Tatsunos are capable of covering several miles trotting at about a pace of 10-km/h and have been known to reach speeds approaching 65-km/h during the heat of the chase. Social Behaviors include occasionally drifting from the pack and becoming a lone wolf for certain periods of time while gathering thoughts about the upcoming World Freeskiing Championships. Although finding mates in the wild habitats of ski towns across the continent can sometimes prove to be difficult the Tatsuniamis always has a den for his female wolves. Although it might be covered in the scent of dude travel and wet ski gear, he’ll quickly remedy the situation with offerings of a strong “who gives a shit about the smell lets get it on” alcoholic beverage. It is most common to find the Tatsuniamis traveling and gathering in large fiercely aggressive wolf packs. These Colorado wolves are extremely territorial and will compete with any opponent over bragging rights on “who slayed the prey the most”. Established wolf packs such as the Tatsuniamis wolf pack rarely accept strangers into their territories, often they size a stranger wolf up in the lift lines at Crested Butte and communicate their alpha male aggressions through a series of howls. Excepting the challenge is very dangerous and should only be accepted if the challenging wolf is sufficiently ready for the battle. Although loyal to their own native hunting grounds of Colorado we often find these apex predators traveling to Utah for the better deeper lighter fiuffier and incredibly more consistent hunting grounds of the Wasatch. Experts in Utah call this the “lake effect” which generally means Utah gets way more snow than Colorado. Although Utah wolves and Colorado wolves are in different sudfamily they seem to get along when the two confront each other. Often participating in common games like “party your fuckin ass off” and every skiers favorite “lets get black out drunk and beat the shit out of each other”. Good times.

All jokes asides Chris Tatsuno is the man. Committed to his passions and living the hell out of his life. Anyone who has ever met him that was worth a damn will tell you that he’s the nicest dude out there. If you’ve competed in any freeskiing competition in the last five years then you would have met this man. The style is admirable, the kid is super nice off the slopes offering hot cocoa and cookies out of his vanhome kitchen, then you see him ski and its all sorts of hell bending super sonic sound wave crushing pinned to the red balls on fire skiing. Tatsuno is leading the charge having a blast all the way through. He lives his life with his chest up and his knees a choppin.